Number Crunching

Hello, I’m the other guy who runs this blog. I’m still around; I just don’t seem to be as unfortunate as Geo when it comes to meeting idiots.

I had just finished Ragefire Chasm, when a role check is initiated. However, after myself and the healer – the only two people left – pick their roles, this happens:

Um, okay? That was certainly random; I’d better ask Pomeloana (hereafter referred to as ‘Pome’) what the hell is going on.

Wait, WHAT?! 100k DPS at Level 15? What is this guy on?

Maybe Pome has Recount, and is mistaking the ‘Damage Done’ section for the ‘DPS’ section? That’s a simple enough explanation, right?

Right?

‘Good luck finding an instance.’ Well, as a DPS, that’s already hard.

Are you for real? How the hell could you mistake 100 for 10? I think a remedial session in counting is in order, don’t you?

Seriously, though, how elitist can you get, to kick a Level 15 out of a group for ‘low DPS?’

Excuse me while I go and /facepalm hard enough to leave a mark.

Warning: This Post Contains 100% Salt

While doing the new content on the Broken Shore, introduced in the latest patch, I came across an elite rare. Standing nearby was a Mage named Flippineck (hereafter shortened to ‘Flip’), who also seemed interested in what this rare had to offer.

I was in Bear Form at the time, which prompted Flip to whisper me.

After I didn’t respond to his calls of ‘go’ and ‘go m8,’ he decided to attack the rare himself; he was promptly face down in the dirt, which started the rest of what you see above. Flip was not happy that I had refused to attack the rare… not that I really gave a fuck at that particular moment, of course.

To be quite honest, I don’t give a shit about you ‘killing loads on your main.’ When it comes to fighting really tough enemies, I prefer to use something called ‘common sense,’ which involves waiting for more people to arrive. I’d offer to lend you some of my common sense, but I’ve barely got enough as it is.

Of course you can kill them on a fucking Hunter, you twat, because you’ve got a fucking pet to do all the tanking and DPS for you. As a Guardian Druid, I do not have that luxury – unless I spec it, though Treants suck – and then there’s the fact I keep forgetting to use Barkskin and Ironfur. Oh, and I fucking hate what they’ve done to Frenzied Regeneration.

You’ve probably noticed that I’m swearing a lot in this update. Well, there’s a reason for that. You see, after putting Flip on ignore, I thought that was the end of it. I did my Broken Shore World Quests and then returned to Dalaran, where I noticed the ‘new mail’ icon had made an appearance.

It was Flip, contacting me on another character to continue our already fucking pointless debate argument.

And if you want to insult the way I play the game, then might I suggest that you practice what you’re fucking preaching, you bastarding hypocrite?

I knew it was Flip, but I wanted to have some fun… for whatever demented reason was going through my head at the time. Oh, and I know my Druid is piss poor; I’ve invested most of her gold in some stuff I hope to turn a decent profit on.

Another whiny little baby complaining about swearing. Why don’t these cunts realise that there’s a fucking Mature Language Filter they can use? Or is Flip just jealous that I’m allowed to swear?

Once again, I tried to explain my logic…

And once again, it goes right over the fucking top of Flip’s head.

Oh, and I was quick to point out that he’s not allowed to name names when posting on the forum; since I am posting on my own blog, that rule doesn’t apply to me. So fucking suck it.

One last message, and that was it. Thankfully, I’ve not heard from the bastard ever since.

One thing did strike me as ironic, though, and that was the name of the guild these characters were in:

‘Bridgeburners.’ How fucking ironic… because you’ve definitely burned all of your bridges with me.

Cunt.

A-Ougha, A-Ougha! Elitist Alert, Elitist Alert!

I’ve said numerous times before that I don’t really do PvP – unless you count nuking the everloving shit out of a low level as such – yet I will often spend some time standing outside Orgrimmar or in Goldshire, watching those who do care about PvP dueling.

Naturally, this is also an invitation for every elitist fuckwit in the zone to come along, inspect me, and then issue the inevitable challenge — like Ougha from Magtheridon, who challenged Monkfu three times in quick succession. Every request was blocked – DuelResponse FTW* – but he still tried. Yet, when I told him to keep at it…

ougha01

Hoo boy. He’s one of those people.

ougha02

Of course I know you’d fuck me over, shithead; one of the reasons why I have an anti-duel addon installed is to stop exactly that from happening.

ougha03

Can you spot the moment when I got sick of his attitude? It should be fairly obvious.

Oh, how I wish this kind of behaviour would just disappear from the game… but then I remember that I live in the real world, and so such a thing will never happen. So, for now, I will continue my war against these arrogant, self-centred, egotistical swine.

Gonna need a bigger ignore list, though…

* Of course I would say this; I wrote it, after all.

But You Said You… Oh, Never Mind!

I’m currently levelling up an Orc Shaman, who is now working his way through the tedium that is Outland. While doing the quest to bomb demons on the Abyssal Shelf, I had some issues; I kept getting ‘out of range’ messages (even though I was right above my target), and even the occasional ‘spell not learned’ message.

Wondering if it was just me, I decided to ask in General chat about it. Let’s see if you can spot the failure here:

nyah01

Did you see it? No? Well, let me explain. Nyàh claims to have read what I said about having an issue with the quest, yet still said that I wasn’t ‘doing it right’ and that I was ‘stupid.’

Yet when I challenged them on this, no more was said.

Go figure.

PLZ PLZ PLZ FITE ME PLZ

While standing outside Orgimmar on my Monk, the aptly named Monkfu, I was challenged to a duel by another Monk. It was blocked by DuelResponse, at which point he did it another couple of times. When I told the elitist prick to get fucked, this happened.

If you can count the number of times he challenged me, you’ll get a (virtual) cookie.